Tuesday, May 15, 2012

brushing off the dust

Okay. I know it's been a long time since I've written on this beauty, but I had an interesting thought the other day. If this blog served as a wonderful space for me to process while I was away, it should continue to be a place where I  can wrestle with the things that the Lord is placing on my heart at home. Even though I do not have hilarious cross cultural stories to expound upon, I definitely have thoughts and experiences to share about during my journey at home this summer. 

This first week home has been an interesting one. I realized that life at Westmont is kind of a tease of adult life. You have your own space and one schedule to worry about, your friends are close by, always eager to take off on an adventure and you are mainly focused on your agenda. While these things are incredibly freeing and allow for personal development and growth, I have found that it makes for a rather rough transition back into life at home. As the oldest child of three, I came home to homework, dance schedules and CIF golf matches in full swing. All I wanted to do was hang out and be with everyone. However, this was simply not a reality for the other four members of my family. So, I decided to apply for a few jobs. I have yet to hear back from the two companies, and feel rather stuck. I want to work and have some responsibility, but I am not sure if that is a realistic expectation seeing how I am only home for three months, barely. Even though I'd love to start working right away, I completely recognize God's provision and know that he knows exactly what I am to be doing this summer. In the meantime, I'm just waiting. 

During this time of waiting I have been challenged tremendously. My wonderful boyfriend sent me a verse last night that reads, "You love justice and hate evil. Therefore God, your God, has anointed you, pouring out the oil of JOY on you more than on anyone else" Psalm 45:7. As many of you know, joy is the word that I have chosen to live by. Therefore, this verse served as a great wakeup call for me yesterday. I realized that in this new season of life I had become rather complacent, waiting around for a job to land in my lap, and in the mean time not really doing anything productive with my time. Maybe in this summer downtime I am supposed to rest? Maybe God has anointed this time as a time of rejuvination for me before I enter junior year of my college career? While I am certain these things are very true, one thing I know for sure. I want to step out of my comfort zone and do something for someone else, instead of just meeting my own selfish desires all summer long. It would be comfortable to sit around doing whatever I want, whenever I want (in fact I have done this for the first week I've been home). Now looking ahead, I am determined to listen to God's call and step out. I'm not positive what that looks like yet, but I am committing to earnestly seeking that out!

One dictionary defines summer as, "the period of finest development". This idea is what I am seeking to embody this summer. Next year I will be leading a section of women, and pouring into their lives as an older mentor and friend. In order to best serve them and love them well, I need to develop myself this summer. So friends, may we view the summertime as an opportunity to develop ourselves in new ways. 

A closing thought:
Psalm 116:7 says 
"Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me." Rest in his grace and mercy for he desires to restore your soul.